


Hollow

by Denois



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: 2019 Stanley Cup Final, AHL!Dex, Canon typical alcohol use, Coming Out, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Getting Together, M/M, Memory gap, NHL!Chowder, NHL!Dex, cuddling for comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 13:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19335514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Denois/pseuds/Denois
Summary: After watching his team lose in game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, Dex decides to drink away the emptiness he feels. He wakes up hours later in bed with Nursey and no memory of how they got there. A frantic phone call to Chowder doesn't clear anything up and all that's left to do is take Chowder's advice - talk to Nursey.





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to [Draskireis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/draskireis) and Theo for the beta reads.
> 
> Because of the Falcs, I moved the Providence Bruins to be the Portland Bruins. I know a lot of fans put the Falc's AHL affiliate there. Too bad. Boston is the older team, they get to have their AHL affiliate take over the ECHL spot in Portland. The Falcs can have one in Hartford something. I don't know. 
> 
> This is mostly me trying to work through my feelings after the Stanley Cup Final. The problem with that was I wasn't in a frame of mind to address the edits that my betas suggested until now.
> 
> Nursey does not play NHL/AHL/ECHL. He's being an author, or maybe a grad student. He's probably still in the Boston area around the residents of Haus 2.0. 
> 
> Chowder is with San Jose. For the purposes of this fic you can consider him to be at the AHL affiliate or the backup goalie, or if you really want to hurt Chowder then think he was in the net when they lost the conference final.
> 
> Real life NHL players get name dropped but do not appear in the making of this fic.

Dex understood why he spent his first year in Portland instead of Boston. Even as a free agent picked up from the NCAA, it was rare for a rookie to spend their whole first season actually playing for the NHL instead of the AHL. In fact, a lot of guys ended up being rookies for years because they didn’t play enough games in the NHL. 

So Dex knew he was lucky that he’d been called up to Boston as much as he had. He knew he was lucky to be picked as a Black Ace.

In 2019, William Jacob Poindexter did not skate for the Stanley Cup Final. Matt was out for five games, but Dex wasn’t the one called. Chara skated with a broken jaw. And Dex watched from home. 

Logically, he knew. He knew he wouldn’t have been the difference. He wasn’t as experienced as the guys that were skating. The Blues were throwing dirty hits relentlessly and he would have just been another target they slammed into. But damn if it wasn’t hard to think logically while watching your team lose. Especially when they’re both the team you play for and your favorite team.

When they’d lost the Frozen Four his frog year, he’d at least been on the ice. He’d doubted himself after, sure. He’d felt certain he could have somehow found a way to give a little more. To be a little faster, to block a little better, to get one more takeaway and pass to Nursey for a goal. And letting Jack Zimmermann down had been one of the worst feelings of his life. 

This felt a lot like that. But he didn’t have a helmet to throw into an empty room. He didn’t have a liney to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

So Dex got out a bottle of tequila that had somehow been left at his apartment the last time the guys had been over, and he poured himself a glass. 

It was weird, really, the things a person holds onto as important. Four years of college, a year in the NHL, and no one had noticed that Dex didn’t drink alcohol. He wasn’t necessarily morally opposed to other people drinking it. He just didn’t drink it. The only person he’d confided into why was on the other side of the country and had been knocked out of the playoffs the previous round by the same team. So it seemed rude to call him. 

The last thing Dex remembered was sitting on his bed with the glass of tequila and staring at the wall.

* * *

The next thing Dex remembered was waking up and still feeling hollow inside. But warm outside. Because he was spooning someone. In only his boxer briefs.

Which was a problem because the last thing he remembered, he had been alone in his apartment and fully clothed. 

The bigger problem was that he recognized the smell of Nursey’s cologne and lotion. 

He managed to extricate himself from the bed and stumble into his bathroom, quietly shutting the door, before he started to hyperventilate. 

He recalled thinking the night before that feeling anything would be better than the emptiness he’d felt when he watched his teammates shake hands and try not to cry (with limited success). He decided he’d been wrong.

He cracked the door open enough to see that Nursey was still sleeping soundly, then crept over to his night stand. The empty glass was on it, but he ignored that to grab his phone and quickly retreat to the bathroom again. 

He didn’t stop to look at what ungodly early hour it was, it wouldn’t matter because it would be even more ungodly early in California, but calling Chowder was more important right then. 

“Dex? I’m so sor-”

“I know, Chris. Look, there’s something more important. I think something terrible has happened.”

“What?!”

“I was feeling really empty last night, so I found some tequila that had been left at my apartment and I poured like, a whole glass full. And I don’t remember drinking it, but I must have, I smell like it. And I don’t remember anything, but Nursey’s in my bed and I’m only in my boxers. And I _don’t know what happened_.”

“Dex. What are you trying to say?”

“What if I…”

“Dex. Stop. Talk to him.”

“What if he drank too and he doesn’t remember either?”

“Will. I have recently spent an inordinate amount of time around drunk hockey players trying to forget a hard loss. Please believe me when I say, you are not drunk.”

“But-”

“Goodnight, Dex.”

Dex stared at his phone. He’d never seen Chowder run out of patience. He hadn’t really considered that there was an end to the Chowder patience. Chris had put up with the two of them even through their fights while sharing a room. But, apparently, there was an end and it arrived at 3 on a Thursday morning. 

There was a knock on the door, followed by Nursey’s muffled voice. “Not to rush you, but are you nearly done? I didn’t see another bathroom on my way in.”

Dex was gratified to see that Nursey had on actual shorts when he opened the door. No shirt, but at least shorts. He shuffled past without looking up high enough to risk seeing Nursey’s face and whatever thoughts he might be having and once the door was shut again, he moved quickly to the dresser and pulled out shorts and a shirt and got dressed. 

He knew he needed to talk to Nursey, but as he looked at his bed, he knew it couldn’t be in that room, so he went out to the kitchen and started a pot of coffee. He wasn’t sure why it took Nursey so long to join him in the kitchen, but by the time he arrived, the coffee was ready (and prepared to their respective preferences) and Dex had made a plate full of scrambled eggs and toast.

Finally, Nursey shuffled in and sank into one of the chairs where he sat staring at the mug in front of him. “Poindexter. It is six am. I am on summer break. You are officially in the off season. Please tell me why there’s coffee as though this is a reasonable time to be awake and stay awake?”

Dex blinked at the food. “I guess I thought you’d be hungry. I can just….”

“No. It’s fine. I can eat. I mean, you went to all the trouble of cooking.” He lifted the mug and took a long slurping sip.

“So, uh. What are you doing here, Nurse?”

“Eating breakfast.”

Dex rolled his eyes, something he would have done at that answer even if Nursey hadn’t said it around a mouth full of food.

“You know what I mean. What, uh, what happened last night?”

Nursey set his fork down at stared at Dex, but Dex kept his eyes on his coffee because it was much much safer.

“You know, some guys would be hurt by such a question. Don’t worry. I didn’t besmirch your honor.”

“I wasn’t worried about that.”

“Hmm. Could have fooled me.” 

“Dammit, Nurse. Just tell me what happened.”

“Chill, Poindexter. Nothing happened.”

Dex leaned forward to rest his forehead on the table. “The last thing I remember, I was sitting on my bed, fully clothed, holding a glass of tequila, and alone in my apartment. I woke up undressed and in bed with you. So don’t tell me that nothing happened.”

“Okay. Yeah. I guess there were some things that happened between those two points.” Nursey paused for another slow sip of coffee. “This is good coffee. You were always really good at coffee.”

“Nurse.”

“Right. Well, after the game, you weren’t answering your texts so I figured either you’d gone all blank like when the Packers lost in 2015 or you were having a full out meltdown like when _we_ lost in 2015. So I came over.”

Dex sat back up but still didn’t lift his gaze from the table. “How’d you get in?”

“Eh, can’t tell you that.”

“Lardo loaned you her emergency key.”

There was a pause. “Not exactly. Shitty might have appropriated it for me. The point is. I came over, and you were sitting on your bed like you said. You were dissociating hard. Harder than I’ve ever seen someone dissociate. So, I figured, what would Dex do if he found me like that? Right?”

Dex grunted.

“So I took the glass from you, and I got you ready for bed and I tucked you in.”

Dex nodded. “Makes sense I don’t remember, I guess. That was a lot of tequila, right?”

“Ch’yeah. But, you didn’t drink any of it, I don’t think.”

“Nurse, I still smell like it.”

“Ok, yeah. Chill. That’s on me. That’s my bad. I tripped and spilled it. Mostly on you. I didn’t figure you wanted me to give you a bath, so I just dried you off.”

Dex looked up, finally, and stared at Nursey, trying to decide if he was lying.

“Why were you in my bed?”

“Comfort cuddles, Poindexter. That was a ‘what would C do?’ thing, though.” 

“And we didn’t….”

Nursey froze staring at him. When he started moving again it was to blink several times. “Chill. Uh. No. I didn’t realize you thought that was an actual possibility or I wouldn’t have chirped you on that.” 

Dex pushed himself up. “Right. Okay. I’m gonna go take a shower now. Feel free to just leave your dishes in the sink and I’ll get to them later. No need to waste your day on me.” 

He fled before Nursey could reply or he could see what manner of disgust Nursey would be hiding behind a polite facade of chill. Because, no, he didn’t think that Nursey would have a problem with him being gay. It was the crush, the feelings, that Nursey would have a problem with. Maybe if Dex was someone else. Maybe if he had a few more years in the NHL and a solid eight figure contract. Maybe then he’d be the kind of guy Nursey would be seen with. 

Probably not. 

He managed to get shampoo in his eyes, so he allowed himself to slide down in the tub and cry about it all for awhile. He’d just wanted to drink away the emptiness. Instead he felt like he was still being poured out of his own hollow insides. 

When he finally emerged from the shower, he was shocked to see Nursey sitting at the table. It had been cleared and the dishes were lined up in the drying rack. When he stepped into the room, Nursey stood up to face him. 

“You’re still here.”

“Yeah. Where else would I be?”

Dex glanced towards the door. “Anywhere.”

“Yeah, well. Chill.” Nursey lifted a shoulder in a half shrug. “I’m where I wanna be.” 

He knew that a furrow was forming between his brows, but it didn’t make sense.

Nursey’s head twitched like he’d suddenly thought of something. “I mean, earlier when you thought that we might have… that was specific to me, right? I can-. I should-. I’ll go. Sorry, Dex.” 

“No. Yes. It was.” Dex ran a hand over his hair, allowing his blunt nails to scrape down his scalp. “I meant you. Specifically.” He let out all of his breath in a sigh. He’d probably just lost his friend, but at least he wouldn’t be lying anymore.

When Nursey’s fingers ran through his hair, he didn’t bother opening his eyes, just leaned into it. “Chill. I mean you, too. Specifically.” 

Nursey stepped forward again, bringing them fully into each other’s space, and Dex allowed his arms to snake around him and pull him closer yet. 

“You know, we could go back to cuddling and napping if someone hadn’t insisted on coffee at six in the morning on an off day.” Nursey’s nose was tracing along Dex’s cheekbone.

“Pretty sure we can do that anyway, since it’s an off day.” With one last deep breath, Dex steeled himself and then committed, pressing his lips to Nursey’s. 

For his part, Nursey didn’t hesitate to kiss back, cradling Dex’s head as he did. 

Dex still felt hollow, but the wound from the loss was starting to scab over. Maybe he wouldn’t be empty forever.

**Author's Note:**

> As per usual, I'm on the tumbls at [SexyDexyNurse](https://sexydexynurse.tumblr.com/). I post about omgcp there, mostly about my love of the Frogs, I also post about the Bruins sometimes, mostly about Tuukka because he's my brother whom I adopted via twitter (therefore it's super legal and binding).


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